Robert Shilston

I had a look at our utility bills a few days ago, in conjunction with the lovely website uswitch.com, and concluded that we could save £250 / yr if we changed supplier. Now, I think that’s a fair amount of money and well worth doing.

So, as I’d never heard of Atlantic, and with npower having a reputation of terrible service, I phoned Scottish Power. I spoke to Michelle, who took all my details, and quoted £720 rather than the £600 I’d seen on their website. When I pointed this out, she said “oh. yeah. the website isnt uptodate.”. So, I thanked her, hung up, and tried to order online. However, I thought I’d give Atlantic a call.

Oh I so wish I’d recorded the conversation, as the transcript would have been hilarious. Adam and Elly were in fits of laughter, and I was really struggling to keep a straight face on the phone. I was being an outrageous flirt. If Elleanor ever reads this, then I sincerely hope you enjoyed our conversation - I’m sure it made your day. Bits of the conversation that I do remember go something like this:

E: Hello, welcome to the Atlantic switch line, how can I help?
R: I’d like you to save me lots and lots and lots of money on my gas and electricity bill.
E: So you’d like me to “quote you happy” sir?
R: “Oh yeeass”
[it then takes her about 5 minutes to locate our flat’s gas and electricity supplies on her computer, during which she said “it doesn’t look as if you exist”, with the mandatory “I don’t think so either” and “But I’m talking to you, so you must exist”. Eventually, our supply is located]
R: I think you can save me £250
E: We’ll see…
R: If you do, I’ll have to buy you a bunch of flowers
E: I’m not sure my other half would like that
R: Nor me, actually…
[a bit later]
E: So that’ll be £40 / mo SSE.
R: SSE?
E: Oh, sorry, Scottish and Southern Energy
R: Phew. I thought it was “sell your soul, liver and heart”
E: Excuse a personal question, but what do you do?
R: We’re students
E: Medical?
R: No
E: Laywers?
R: No, Engineers.
[eventually, after yet more rounds of banter]
E: Ok, I’m going to put you through to my manager to check the transfer is ok
R: Thanks ever so much Elleanor
M: Hi, I understand you want to switch
R: Yes, but not until you’ve thanked Elleanor
M: Yes, she’s very good isn’t she
R: I’ll switch if you buy her a present
M: Ok. I’ll buy her a chocolate bar
R: Thanks
[call concludes by actually discussing the energy switch].

I *must* work out how to routinely record all my calls. Does anyone know whether an individual can legally do that? Do they need to notify the other end?

Anyway, after 35 mins of flirting on the phone, I was completely worn out, so we watched Python’s And Now For Something Completely Different whilst I finished working on a DVD (details to follow)

This entry was posted on Friday, September 16th, 2005 at 8:43 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.